Monday, November 10, 2008

Functional Fitness

Monday, November 10;

I forgot to share a cute little conversation I had with a guy who was learning how to rock climb with me. This guy was obviously a gym rat. You know the kind... big barrel chest, big meaty arms, not much muscle definition and also lacking in other areas that don't have to do with fitness and physique.

He was asking people what they did to stay in shape. He had already shared that he worked out at a big box gym. He had also shared that he was a massage therapist (so obviously he knew about how the body works, right?). I decided I'd throw him my first little test. It's an easy yes or no answer that tells you a lot about someone who claims to be "in the know" about fitness. I asked if he had heard of Crossfit. He said he hadn't. There we go.. I knew what I was working with. I also imagined he had a two year subscription to Fitness Magazine and a massive jug of Creatine under his kitchen sink.

Of course, being the nice person that I sometimes pretend to be, I explained to him what Crossfit was. Constantly varied, high intensity, functional fitness. Right? Hoping that that would spark some bit of understanding. Obviously, I failed. He said.. "Like standing with two fee on a balance ball?" He then assured me that this was very difficult to do. I nodded politely and smiled while thinking, "Unless you are a clown in a circus act, at what point in your life do you need to stand and balance on something that offers absolutely no stability, and how exactly does practicing this skill help improve core strength and stability??" I swear I just nodded and smiled. It's best to be civil when in no Crossfit company.

We proceeded with our rock climbing lesson. Then later in the afternoon globo gym guy came up to me again. He assured me that he taught functional fitness with his clients at his gym. Then he brought out the four letters that many trainers use to instill a great amount of confidence in their clients. He says, "you know I'm NASM certified." Of course, inside I'm rolling my eyes and trying not to vomit in my mouth. Outside I'm nodding my head and trying to hide my irritation with this one. Looking back on it, I should have insisted he tried Crossfit.. just maybe not at CFOT. Sorry Jerry, I know business is business but I'm not sure if I could welcome this one into the blue room!

How's this for functional fitness...? Practicing your ability to efficiently pick up an object from the floor that nearly weighs as much as you do, and put it in a position above your waist so that this object may be carried or moved in some way.

Workout:
Hang Power Cleans (from the floor)
1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
83lb, 93lb, 103lb, 108lb, 110lb, 113lb, 118lb

9 comments:

Jen said...

Excellent post. Way to relate CF to everyday activities as well as managing to keep your cool.

Could he even put his arms down, or was he walking around like his lats were in the way?

Adrienne said...

Both his lats and his ego were in the way!

Jen said...

Nice. This is how I picture him..

http://www.redriderleglamps.com/images/products/randy_card.jpg

Adrienne said...

Boo! I couldn't cut and paste the picture! Huge bummer, but I can only imagine what the picture looks like, and I can only imagine that it's a correct summation of said NASM certified dude! :)

Jerry Hill said...

You DO meet some interesting characters!
I love the NASM and Bosu referrals - how many Read Flags can one guy have?!

Ray said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adrienne said...

I know Jerry! Right?! Don't you think he would have gotten it? I wish I could make these stories up. What can I say? this is my life!

Jen said...

Dang.. I thought that was going to happen. It was a picture of Randy from "A Christmas Story" all bundled up in his snowsuit.

Maybe this one will work better - http://tinyurl.com/4m8une

Adrienne said...

Haaa! Jen that's hilarious! I love that movie.. he did look like that.. just less clothing on. Thankfully, he resisted the urge to take his shirt off.