Fast and Loose

Sunday, November 23;

This month is flying by and every day I think about my looming surgery. The fear has manifested itself in some strange ways. I have this impulse to hit a PR everyday. To be the fastest I've ever been, to do the most pullups I've ever done, to lift heavier than I've ever lifted.
I'm not quite sure if this is the best way for me to be operating (pardon the pun). I can't get past this feeling that if I don't do it now I may never be able to do it. There's not a sadness in this thought, it's more just like a subconsious statement of fact. It's weird. I know that I of course will be back and running at full steam in a few months. It's more of a desire to really push myself to the limit RIGHT NOW.

Today, we hit max clean and jerks. I have a history with this movement. Last February, I was lifting with the DC Barbell club and we were doing clean and jerks. It was me and a bunch of guys, so of course I had to show off my physical prowess. I got up to 95lbs, 100lbs.. I don't know if I did it or not, but I think I may have done 105lbs. The problem was that the jerk really does a number on my shoulder. Last February the shoulder slipped out when the bar was overhead with at least 100lbs on it. It's not exactly unstable when it slips out, so it's not like I can't control the bar. It just feels really "off". So I put the bar down and called it quits for the day. Shortly after, I called it quits on lifting my left arm for several months.

I've done clean and jerks since then and we hit them again today. I felt really solid up until I passed that 100lb threshold. I can clean the bar without a problem, but my mind starts running when it's on my shoulders and I breathe in that moment before the jerk. My mind goes to, "what happens if my shoulder slips out again?" A natural thought. This causes me to slow down the movement, so I can only get it partially up. I have to push it the rest of the way.

Really what I should have done today is hit 95lbs and then stayed there and worked on speed and efficiency of movement. Of course I didn't do that. I wanted to solidify my clean and jerk PR, so I pulled out an ugly as crap clean and jerk at 105lbs.

Awesome, way to go. {note sarcasm}

Warmup:
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PVC pipe work
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"stretch the shit out of my forarms"
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3 rounds of:
5 pullups
5 squat cleans w/ the dynomax ball
5 max vertical jumps (about 5 inches off the ground for me!)
5 Turkish getups (right and left)
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WOD
Clean and Jerk
1,1,1,1,1,1
85lb, 90lb, 95lb, 97lb, 100lb, 105lb