Life doesn't always turn out how you expect or want it to. I am one of those planners. I go through life with a certain path in mind. I have an idea where I want to be in 5, 10, 15 years. Things I do are usually in direct correllation with that. Sometimes it's hard for me to just let loose and have fun, because letting loose doesn't always help me get where I want to be.
Unfortunately, even the best planners can't control where the universe will take you. It's a lesson I haven't settled with quite yet in my life. I generally want to know what I will be doing on a daily basis and I want to be in full control of my future. You can't always get what you want.
Lately, a lot of things in my life have been in flux. My school, work and social lives have not exactly been perfect or satisfying. Usually, I can rely on a good workout to put me in a good mood or to help me blow off some steam. My shoulder has kept me from really going full out, and I've been worn out from dealing with everything else on my plate. When this happens with me, I usually realize it's time to cleanse the things that are placing extra weight on my shoulders. Sometimes that cleansing process can be really painful, but it's an unavoidable part of life.
I think I am rambling a bit, and I apologize that I'm not exactly coming to a point. If I had an answer then I think I wouldn't feel like my life is in flux. A co-worker said to me the other day, "what is meant to happen will happen." It's a helpful thing to keep in mind. I truly believe that things happen for a reason. We may not have the wisdom to know why they happen in the moment, but retrospect allows us the wisdom to learn from our past and modify our behaviors for the future.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
2 comments:
Adrienne, I am like you in many ways. I like to have control of my life... workouts, relationships, jobs... I need to know where those things are going and make plans for how to get there and when to arrive. When this gets off the slightest bit, it's enough to send me into a stress induced tailspin. I don't like allowing the control to be beyond my means. It's something as an adult I'm having to come to grips with here... and it's a hard lesson to learn. But, I'm learning that your friend is right. There are reasons for everything that happens, but sometimes those reasons don't reveal themselves until much later on. On such example (if you dont mind me hijacking your blog post for a minute) would be Bobby. That dude single handedly tore my ever-loving heart apart, but without meeting him and going through all that, I never would have found Jerry, CF, any of the bloggers, the awesome crew at CFOT, would never have lost weight, and on and on and on. It took a long time for me to see the reasoning for him and the purpose, but eventually it came out. I know it's hard to keep perspective on things sometimes, but really, everthing will happen as it should. I'm learning this VERY slowly in my own impatient way.
You rock girl... just keep your head up and shoulders squared and look the world in the eye.
Adrienne,
We need to go get a drink sometime. I think we would have quite a bit to talk about!
You can't always get what you want... and then the song goes on about how "sometimes you get what you need" - but what about when that doesn't even happen?
I'm trying to have the strength to cleanse somethings from my life that's been keeping me down and causing me pain. It's difficult, time will tell if I can actually go through with it.
Anyway - yes, drink. Actually - I think me, you, and Katie should all go out sometime. She owes me a bday drink anyway ;-)
~Cara
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